September 11, 2011

The "Bank" Friend

Over my life I have realized that friends come in many different forms.  Many friends are there during a short duration, are close to you at the time, then are suddenly gone from your life without any real consideration given (not that it was intended that way).  Others are by your side just for a moment to get you through a crisis like an angel sitting on your shoulder.  And still other people are those few who have been there through your whole life who know you better than you may even know yourself.  I think that everyone could probably relate to each of these classifications and fondly remember each friend's face.  However, recently I was thinking about my role as a friend and have discovered the classification of the "bank" friend.  

A few years ago I met who would be my future husband.  As you would expect, when I began my life with my husband I not only adopted his family but also his friends and acquaintances.  Overall, this set up was a good deal.  Being the loner that I am and most of my family being in Ohio, I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who got the bargain.  Or did I?  Of course, all was well at first. Everyone puts their best foot forward.  Then reality happened. Some of the friends started blowing me off, even to the point of inviting my husband out without any consideration given to me (well, you know I have to watch "the kid").  Fine.  To their defense, I can be very aloof, very quiet, have a take-me-or-leave me-I-don't-care attitude etc.  So I probably am a do-gooder, stuck-up snob (which is why I'm certain it is that I am a loner).  However, something interesting has happened.  I get texts from these very same people asking me if I need my hair cut and/or highlighted.  I get invites to birthday parties and/or house "parties" where you go and listen to a third party try to sell you something. The expectation is that you will buy something, and the host will get free stuff based on what you buy (you know the type!). Truly, I do not mind having a friend style my hair.  Frankly, my friends are cheaper than salons and do as good a job, if not better.  I love birthday parties.  And I enjoy the social aspect of the host parties.  I even buy stuff and haven't really given a thought to how much free stuff my friend gets  ...until now.  You see I have a problem with people who don't considered me worthy enough to hang with for no other reason than to "hang", yet I am worthy of the invite if it involves me buying something that yields them a benefit.  

Thus, the term "bank" friend.  Now I don't blame my husband, and I'm not even sure that I'm mad or in any way upset with these individuals.  I've had these "friends" in the past and have since moved on.  Truly my husband's friends are his friends, and I can "get along".  But it's amazing to me to see how these people act.  I'm not even sure they consciously do it.  One thing for sure: I know exactly the type of people they are, and I know exactly how they see me...  as a bank!

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